SL Profile Translated

This does not apply to real world conversations in D/s relationships, this just applies to the theater of absurd: Second Life. Based solely on my own observations in virtual space, I love to read profiles and people, sometimes we learn a lot more being silent and listening than talking. 
Meant as funny, not to offend anyone, but a lot of truth in this joking *winky wink*
Pink is the translation.

- I am taken, my heart and body only belong to him/her, stay away bitches!
  Yes, I got something going right now, but don't let that stop you, I am a multi-tasker.
- No drama! Stay away with your drama! I hate drama.
  I cause a lot of drama, I am a drama queen and I will blame anyone except myself.
- No fakes, no liars
  I don't trust anyone, not even myself. Why can't people be real in SL? Wait, I am not real either, help!
- I am cute, sweet, intelligent, funny, pain in the ass, adorable (insert more, you know them)
  I am full of shit and fat and ugly in rl.
- I am a bitch, you don't like it leave it, I am your nightmare, hell doesn't want me.
  My case of bipolar disorder is considered "severe"
- SL is real for me and what happens here is rl for me
  I am a smelly breath-stalker and after we partner I consider you my rl wife/husband
- I am looking for the love of my life, I am a good girl.
  Being with me is painfully boring and it will take a million of love poems and promises   before you get off
- I want to devote myself totally to my only one Master/Mistress
  See that chain on my collar, I will make your second life miserable and choke you.
- I am a submissive and this is my disclaimer, my rules, my limits.
  I am a little, insecure and demanding princess and you will do as I say, Master/Mistress!
- I found the love of my life and we are married happily and have many prim babies
  I am slightly delusional and hopelessly romantic but you get to sit on poseballs a lot to make me virtually pregnant 
- I am a Goddess and you will call me so and kneel to worship me.
  I am a desperate housewife, my husband left me for a cheerleader, my genitals are numb and so is my brain.
- If you harm my friends I will haunt you and get back to you.
 Just trying to be good friends, I am totally aware I can't haunt or hurt you in this shithole.
- I am a dominant male and live my D/s relationships strict, only true submissive can apply
 My rl wife hits me.
- Disclaimer, all IM and chat will be logged and used, according to the ToS bla bla bla
  I am an idiot.